How to Invite Someone to Mediation: Why a Mediator Should Lead the Process

Inviting someone to mediation can feel tricky, especially when emotions are high. Many people wonder whether a lawyer should send the invitation or if the mediator themselves should manage this process. Understanding the difference is crucial to ensuring neutrality, compliance, and a successful mediation outcome.

1. Why the Mediator Should Send the Invitation

In family mediation, the mediator is the neutral, impartial professional responsible for guiding the process. This includes:

• Extending invitations to the other party

• Explaining the purpose, process, and benefits of mediation

• Ensuring the approach is non-threatening and unbiased

By having the mediator issue the invitation, the recipient knows it is not coming from the other party’s advocate, which can reduce defensiveness and increase willingness to participate.

2. The Risk of Lawyers Sending Invitations

Lawyers are advocates for their clients, which is critical in legal representation but can complicate mediation invitations:

3. Mediator Can Certify the Process

One of the most important roles of a professional mediator is that they can formally capture the invitation and participation process.

• If a participant refuses to attend, the mediator can record this professionally, creating a verified account of the attempt.

• This is required when making an application for court orders:

  • A Section 60I Certificate is needed for parenting orders

  • A Dispute Resolution Certificate is needed for property orders

• Lawyers cannot certify that mediation was offered or refused, meaning legal proceedings may require additional verification steps.

This ensures that the mediation process is formally recognized and compliant with legal requirements.

4. How a Mediator Sends Invitations

A mediator will typically:

1. Contact the invited party directly (phone, email, or letter)

2. Explain the mediation purpose: neutral, non-adversarial, solution-focused

3. Outline logistics: date, location, duration, and support options

4. Provide an opportunity to ask questions

5. Record the invitation and response in a professional, confidential log

This ensures that the process is transparent, neutral, and formally documented—essential for a legally defensible and fair approach.

5. Why Keeping Lawyers Away at This Stage is Beneficial

Lawyers often want to be involved early, but bringing them in at the invitation stage can:

• Make the recipient feel defensive or pressured

• Reduce the chance of voluntary participation

• Blur the neutral nature of the process

• Potentially delay or derail mediation

By allowing a mediator to manage invitations, the process starts on the right footing—focused on collaboration rather than advocacy.

Conclusion

When inviting someone to mediation, the mediator should lead the process. This ensures:

• Neutrality and impartiality

• Higher likelihood of participation

• Professional documentation of invitations and responses

• Avoidance of unnecessary conflict from lawyers acting as advocates

If a participant refuses to attend, a mediator can certify the attempt, which is legally recognized, whereas a lawyer cannot.

Keeping lawyers away at this early stage helps preserve the integrity, fairness, and efficiency of the mediation process.